Why leaning back is the key to moving forwards
It’s ironic that the harder we push, the more the very thing that we want moves away from us.
So we push harder, and sometimes, just sometimes, the force breaks through and we get a chance to grab what we want, but often the energy isn’t aligned and it doesn’t quite match up to what we were hoping for.
Usually though, the more we push for something, the stronger the resistance grows.
It’s a painful lesson, and one I seemingly have to learn over and over again. But very slowly I seem to be building up a repertoire of memories and experiences showing me that when I let go, the very thing I want enters into my life.
I first came across the notion of aparigraha from the wonderful San Fransiscan author Tosha Silver. Her book, Outrageous Openness, quickly became my bible and is now utterly scribbled over with all sorts of notes and post-its as I had realisation after realisation upon reading.
Learning to let go through aparigraha
Aparigraha is all about letting go of what you’re tightly holding onto, so you can remain open to other good things coming into your life. Translated from Sanskrit it quite literally means ‘non-grasping’.
Imagine that you want something so much that you clench your fist around it. Nothing can enter a clenched fist so we have to peel it open and let our faith of what might be override our fear of what we might lose.
In theory this doesn’t sound too hard, but in practice it actually takes a huge amount of courage and faith to allow yourself to lean back in times of stress and financial crisis and not desperately grasp onto anything that might save you.
Like floating in the ocean rather than using up all your energy to madly swim to shore, trusting that the currents swirling deep below will take you where you’re meant to be.
Some of us have a harder time than others to do this, and that’s completely normal. It also takes a lot of getting used to, alongside trying and failing, before you realise its power.
If you have specific numbers in your Soul Contract (either a 4 or a 13-4) it can be very hard to overcome the soul-level karma that is binding you to the belief that you can’t trust the flow of abundance.
I don’t have this number but I’ve given a lot of Readings to people who have. Both of these energies are so beautiful but until we bring awareness to them, they can cause blockages in our life, just like all of the numbers can, until we understand the deeper meaning in them and start healing the beliefs associated with them.
Working with your human design
Another factor that also ties into this is your type of Human Design.
I don’t know too much about it but I do know that I’m a projector, meaning I definitely have to lean back to receive. I always have to be invited, and when I try and push my way through the door I get pushed back. I also know from experience that force definitely doesn’t work for me.
Yet there are other Human Design types that can be more proactive in getting things done; specifically generators and manifestors. These are different types of energies that have a bigger engine room to keep momentum going, meaning they can go out into the world in a more active capacity than projectors.
Yet, whatever archetype you are, the principles of leaning back and aparigraha still apply.
Here’s a little story that shows you how it works.
In 2022 I was giving Kinesiology sessions but not earning enough money to support myself, so I had been waitressing and doing admin at a local catering company for the past 6 months. In fact, the past 3 years had seen me rotate from part time job to part time job, none of them enjoyable or fulfilling any need apart from the financial necessity.
In the spring of 2022 I had decided to leave that job and spent several weeks looking for a replacement that would be well paid, enjoyable, fit around my schedule and attuned to my interests.
I kept looking, looking, looking but nothing was showing up. It was like a needle in a haystack and I was despairing that I’d ever find something.
So one night I just decided I’d had enough, I would stop searching for something that clearly didn’t exist. I gave up completely.
And would you know it, the very next day I saw a notice on my website designer’s Facebook page that was displaying a job that fitted all of my exact criteria: well-paid, remote, perfect hours, similar interests and then some. And the rest is history, I’ve been happily working with the company for a year and a half.
And it was in this role that I discovered and training in Soul Contract Reading and Divine Healing that have changed my life so radically.
Shifting out of the vibration of lack and longing
This is a big example and of course the road to get there wasn’t easy, and even the road afterwards wasn’t that easy either, but I’m sure you have some examples in your memory bank of when something has just magically happened when you’d lost all thought of it.
When we’re in a vibration of lack and longing, this is what we’re emitting out into the world, and of course the Universe responds in kind and sends us back some of that frequency.
It has no other choice, it’s how the energy with the universe works.
When we’re in a state of fear and stress, especially around money (and this is definitely something I’ve had a lot of experience in) we are thinking in blinkered and linear terms that stops us from seeing perspective and opening ourselves up to receive.
We also accidentally attach ourselves to what we think will bring us safety, instead of realising that the Universe can provide in an infinite number of ways.
Yet, in our limited thinking, we often only believe help will come in one or two ways, thereby blocking off the opportunity to receive from other avenues. Without even realising it, we’re closing our fist to grasp tightly onto what we perceive we have, thereby blocking what may come.
I’ve definitely fallen into this trap, many, many times, of thinking that the only way I’ll survive is if a specific thing happens, yet when I allow myself to come out of this state of fear and stress, and lovingly allow myself to feel all of the emotions, without shame, judgement or despair, then the perspective and clear thinking returns.
It’s all about what’s going on internally, that will determine the external result. This is the fundamental core of it. When you lean back, you allow yourself to move forwards.
How to let yourself to lean back and receive
One of the most powerful ways I’ve allowed myself to lean back is by using Divine Healing on myself to work through the subconscious beliefs that are making me want to push, and keeping me stuck as a result.
There have been many times when I’ve worked through specific issues around fear of lack, not believing in my abilities and subconscious beliefs around worthiness, that have had dramatic results and allowed the gates to open for clients to find me.
The other key part of this is around the love we hold for ourselves. When our energy is tired, drained and low, we can’t be of service to others and we need to rest and recuperate our strength. Yet so many of us have grown up in this ‘push harder’ mentality that society grew from not understanding that resting is a powerful tool and a sign of strength, not weakness.
The more love and compassion we hold for ourselves in times of fear, uncertainty and stress, the more we open up our ability to receive.
At times like this the Ego will want to dominate and push you to work harder and do more in the face of lack, which is a fear response, but sometimes we need to ignore it and tune into our body’s needs.
Our body is the vessel through which all manifestation and co-creation occurs, so if it’s not allowed to rest then nothing can happen. When you realise this, as I’m slowly doing, it’s a game changer.
The last thing which I think is an important piece of the puzzle around allowing ourselves to lean back and expand our capacity to receive, is to remember all we are deeply grateful for.
This is a practice I completely fell out of tune with for many years, and it’s only now something that I’m reconnecting to.
And as I do that I’m finding that it brings lots of inner peace, joy and a sense of calm that really calms my overthinking mind.
It’s the simplest of things that can bring us the deepest joy, and this is the quickest way to pull your vibration out of fear, lack and longing, and into one of positivity, alignment and joy, which are the powerful magnets that will allow you to receive.
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