A love letter to my anxiety
I’m lucky, I don’t suffer from anxiety, but occasionally it rears its ugly head, like this week, and I have to hoick in my toolbox and have a good rootle around to figure out what tools I can use to ease it.
One of the best tools I personally have is writing, in articles, journals and musings. It’s a release and a powerful one at that. Using the pen to drain the anxiety and stress out of my body.
Finding compassion for myself
I used to suffer from long-term stress and perhaps anxiety was hanging out in the sidecar alongside it, but now that stress isn’t a major part of my life, the anxiety sideshow feels really unsettling and thoroughly unwelcome.
I’ve told my anxiety to go away but it’s just sticking around and causing a big shadow over my life. So, in retaliation I felt inspired to write a letter to my anxiety but then I thought, anxiety is just a feeling, who actually needs to hear the words I write?
I do, I need to hear the words.
That anxious and scared part of me. This is who I need to write this letter to. To help bring them back to earth, to drag them away from starting out into the abyss of the future and give them some compassion and reassurance that all is ok and there is nothing to fear. It’s a love letter because its’s brimming full of love for myself. And there’s nothing more loving than having self-compassion.
So here we go.
Writing a letter to my stress and anxiety
Dear anxious self,
It’s ok. I know you haven’t been feeling like yourself lately. I know you have that gnawing, unsettled feeling in your solar plexus, right in your centre, sort of similar to the swooping sensation of soaring down a rollercoaster, expect really unpleasant. It’s like dread but more fluttery, like a bat racketing around your ribcage. Ick.
You’ve got tunnel vision right now and all you can see are fears, worries and doubts which are all feeding that anxiety. Let’s widen your vision. What are you grateful for right now, what have you got to look forward to, what joyful activity can you do today?
Let go of fear
I know you've been feeling really unsettled and ungrounded recently and there’s a few things that have really knocked you off balance.
So, I want to remind you that although you feel like you’ve lost your courage and strength, you are still moving forwards, even if the pace seems to have ground to a halt. Fear has taken the wind out of your sails but it will soon die down.
It’s been a really rough year and despite all the transformation that’s occurred there’s bound to be lows. The energy of the world is chaotic right now and there’s a lot that’s out of your control so it can feel like the ground is constantly shifting under your feet. Be patient, it will pass.
I know there’s a situation that’s causing you anxiety and stress and it’s having a huge knock-on effect to your wellbeing. I have an inkling there’s a trauma pattern that’s coming up so I want to reassure you that I’m aware of it and I’m going to work on it so we break it once and for all.
Offer any tricky situation up to the Divine and know that the highest good is coming out of it for everyone involved.
You are supported and loved
Whenever your imagination plays that fun game of conjuring up dreaded scenarios, catch yourself immediately and remind yourself that all is well, it’s just your imagination, it’s not real. Let those fear-based thoughts go and say out loud: all is well and I am safe.
I want to remind you to stop looking so far ahead into the future. You’re upsetting yourself and worrying about things that don’t exist in reality, so why worry? You know what you need to do when you feel this way, mediate and ground yourself.
Avoid the easy ways to distract your anxiety like watching TV and snacking, you’re not doing yourself any favours.
You always forget what helps you feel better so I’m going to remind you: go find yourself someone to hug, call a friend and take the spotlight off yourself, listen to some upbeat music, go for a lovely long walk, do some yoga, take some Bach Flowers, write your thoughts down, make a cup of tea, have a long bath.
Let go of your need to be perfect
One other thing, which I know you’ll be stressing about, just because you help other people with their wellbeing it doesn’t mean that you’re perfect. You’re human, we all are. Relax, take the pressure off your shoulders to have it all, be it all and do it all right now. It’s an impossible task!
Just take it day by day my friend, everything is slotting into place, you don’t need to worry about it. Let go of control, let the stream carry you and remember, more than anything, that life is just a game and you’re here to enjoy yourself and play.
This is the crux of it all, zoom out and see life for what it is, a joyful adventure into the unknown.
All my love
Your loving self
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